Are you a parent that has a hard time playing with your child?

Are you a parent who has a hard time playing with your child?

For some parents, playing hours of imaginative play comes very naturally for other parents it is quite daunting. Let me share with you from a play therapist and mental health perspective what our children (and let's be honest we need it too) moments of meaningful connection throughout the day.  What do I mean by meaningful connection? 

I like to explain meaningful connection as eye contact, playful interaction and positive touch.  For parents that means not distracted, thinking of all the things that need done or looking at screens. We as parents are taking an intentional pause.  The cool thing about this reframe of meaningful connection is that you can have a meaningful connection in about 30 seconds or less. Think of a hug, hand shaking, dancing, being silly, watching when your child asks you to look at what they are doing.  

Sometimes as a parent there is the idea that if I stop and play  I won't be able to get my to do list done.  If that’s you, a way to develop a meaningful connection would be to invite your children to join in on  tasks you are doing. Take some time now to think of some daily tasks you feel ok with your children taking part in.  Prepare yourself that it might take a little longer or might not get done the exact way you want. If there are some tasks that would stress you out to have your kids join in on, don't offer those tasks as an option. Likely that would just feel more stressful and a meaningful connection would be out the window at that point.  Another approach could be to have a moment of meaningful connection before and after getting something on your to do list done. The message you are sending your child is I see you, you matter and when I finish this I will be back reconnect.

Something else important to note is independent, unstructured play is very beneficial for our children. If you think of a montessori approach,  the work of the child is led by the child. In play therapy, we call this child centered play therapy, which means they are the expert, they take the lead and we only enter into play when invited to do so, we are sitting there with them. 

I encourage you to think of one way you can incorporate meaningful connection into your day with your children. My guess is the result will be there is a little more calm for everyone throughout the day!

In solidarity parents, I see you!

Maureen