Feelings - Part 1

Hey you. How are you feeling today?

We most often reply to this question (or questions like it) with words like "good" and "fine." Of course we don't always want to spill our innermost vulnerabilities to the person we've never met and are sharing an elevator ride with - so it's not always an inappropriate response... 

The thing is though, "good" and "fine" aren't feelings. They are summaries of how we're THINKING about how we're feeling.

If you need a minute to let that sink in - take your time - this is a new concept to a lot of people who learn in therapy we're not actually taught much about how to feel and we're often actually only THINKING about our feelings rather than feeling about our feelings.

If you ever visit me in my office, you'll find this pillow on my couch. There is a wide spectrum of responses to it from clients. Some love it and reference it often. Many others experience a much more humorous moment of levity in session, as they see it, connect with something inside of them that feels uncomfortable with the image, and quickly turn the pillow around. Only to find, the image is printed on both sides, so even when they try to avoid coming face to face with feelings, they're still there. It's a great parallel to how we feel in real life. It typically leads to good conversation regarding a person's comfort or discomfort with feelings and vulnerability.

Mostly, I have it readily available because I often find when I ask people how they're feeling or how they felt about an experience they're sharing, they report feeling unsure.  And as they allow themselves to connect with their feelings (sometimes for the first time) it's helpful to have something to look at (other than my lovely face) that offers some prompts to pull from as they sort through their feelings.

Give yourself a moment, right now, to connect with how you're feeling. I wonder what that feeling needs from you today? I hope you have time and space to honor it.

Wishing you well,

Jessica